Thursday, May 13, 2010

.I'm so sorry...I promise it would stop



What's running inside is weird. If and only if my family and friends know, I couldn't imagine what will happen. I think I might have it. I read about it; kinda similar about what's going on within...I also know...it is not really IT....but I'm heading towards IT, when I started reading this:
  • Feeling hopeless, sad, or empty.
  • Irritability
  • Inability to experience pleasure
  • Fatigue or loss of energy
  • Physical and mental sluggishness
  • Appetite or weight changes
  • Sleep problems
  • Concentration and memory problems
  • Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
  • Thoughts of death or suicide
I don't know why..but too much is going on inside. I just don't know for how long can I suffer alone. I'm losing it..day by day....to my family and friends:

I'm sorry if I would disappoint you guys,
I'm so damn sorry if I blamed or about to blame you guys,
I'm extremely sorry if I keep failing to do what's right all the while knowing what am I doing was wrong, Yeah I'm so sorry....especially to myself

I have the greatest family on Earth~I'm just afraid if I would disappoint them. Most of the times it so damn difficult to put those emotions or feelings in your heart into words. My life is so complicated and I am one troubled boy. Ya Allah~please...please...please...guide and protect me..rigidity starting to fade...fragility is on its way


4 comments:

  1. ferd, dont think like that ok. life is too short for u to even to even think about shortening it. live life the best way u can, u have frens to support u and family to be there when u need em. kalo susah sgt, i pon ade.hehe.~~smile2~~

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  2. owh...sweet r ko anem..thanx tau...it's just sumtime life could be hard on you...haih..haha..thanx anem :))

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  3. babe,blaming ourselves sometimes good. but dont do it often.

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